When my older son’s hair first started to grow, I resented spending money on hairdressers. ‘I mean, cutting hair – how hard can it be?’ I thought. ‘I can do it myself with the kitchen scissors.’ But what soon became a wonky crop kept getting shorter as I tried to salvage my mistakes, and it wasn’t long before he looked seven shades of simpleton. Which is how I came to realise that there’s a reason hairdressers are paid professionals with, like, training and experience.
So more recently I’ve been outsourcing the job. Now when you’re going to the hairdresser and are paying them actual money, they might as well do something proper – you know, give your child a bit of a look. Nothing overboard – I’m not Gwen Stefani or anything – but I thought I’d go for something more interesting than the old short-back-and-sides. Being on a bit of a 70s tip, I was thinking maybe Bjorn Borg in his heyday, or Luke Wilson in the Royal Tenenbaums. Something like this, perhaps:
But instead we got this:
But screw that, this is the one I’m gunning for next time:
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